To whom it may concern, I have decided to share some of my thoughts on the whole quarantine situation and how I try to approach quarantine/isolation/social distancing and mental health.
First of all: Remember that this situation we are all facing right now is not normal. I repeat, This. Is. Not. Normal.
Let’s start with the items I’m personally struggling with:
- Maintain a routine.
What routine? I didn’t have one before. I’m single, live alone, was trying to be self-employed and am now unemployed. Me trying to find a reason every morning to leave the bed is really as good as it gets sometimes.
- Self-optimization.
Is your social media also full of people who post their workouts, their cake of the day, their 7-course-meals?
Well that’s great for them. But I need to bear in mind, that this is not a vacation. This is not a prolonged weekend. These are exceptional circumstances. I have a “private To-Do list” of all the projects I could be tackling right now but still have no motivation for. Every day I feel like a failure because I couldn’t even hang up that one photograph or sort out my files or clean up my desk.
And you know what? The list never ends. Like before, whenever I did check something off my list, the other things that were still on it, would scream at me still.
Here is my approach:
Mind you, I am no expert, I am still struggling. This week – for various reasons – I don’t feel very functional at all. But here’s how I am trying to cope with the situation:
- Reminding myself that this situation is NOT NORMAL.
- Stopping to demand my usual amount of productivity.
My private To-Do list keeps getting longer or barely ever shrinks and I feel like a loser and a failure. But it’s not done by stopping to ask myself to deliver things I couldn’t do before (clean the whole flat, learn a new song on the Ukulele, AND cook a healthy meal). Sometimes I can’t even do the things I did before (I did have a job, and still found time to practise ukulele or clean or whatever). But before is not right now. Expecting the same amount of productivity when we are living in an exceptional state might still be a great stretch. - Putting everyday things on my to-do list.
Shower, walk, dishes, laundry, brush teeth. Seems silly or weird, but in my situation it’s success. Because it means I haven’t given up yet. Neither on myself nor on maintaining some kind of normality in this chaos. - Workout.
Yes, you read that right. Not because I want to lose weight (which I do, but I have for years). But because I need it. It helps me. It makes me feel good about myself. And for a couple of minutes (anywhere between 5 to 20), I get to think about something else – I get to focus on my body and not worry about anything else.
So if I am one of those people in your social feed posting their workout. Can you please be proud of myself because I’m working on maintaining my mental and physical health? - Taking a walk of 20-30 Minutes every day.
With distance of course, but being cooped up at home for more than 1 or 2 days will not end well. Neither physically nor mentally. - Asking myself “What do you want to do now?”, “What do you need to do now?” and “What will make you feel better afterward?”
Listening to myself and my own needs is something that’s really hard for me in my everyday life already. But now is the time to re-establish that. Want to watch movies all day? Okay. Want to cook? Sure! I’m trying to not be judgmental about my own coping mechanisms. Emphasis on trying. - Giving myself time.
Admittedly, this is the hardest part. I am not patient. At. All. But this is a huge change in EVERYTHING. Our working lives, social lives and everything is affected by this situation. Big Changes need time. They also need time to adjust to. Especially since it all went so fast all of a sudden. From one day to the next, shops were closed down. From one day to the next, we were asked to stay inside as much as possible. From one day to the next our freedom to move, to be was inhibited. I understand that the measures were and are necessary. But it happened fast. So it will take time to get adjusted. Especially when there is no end in sight. - Allowing myself to not do any of the above.
Sounds paradox yes. But I am a human being. I have feelings. I get scared, I get lonely, I get frustrated. In my head I always know what’s best and better for me, but my heart, my feelings don’t always follow logic and reason – yeah, shocker, I know.
But I’ve learned that when I accept my negative feelings, when I give them some room and time, when I voice them that they go away faster. So instead of trying to fix myself, if I give myself room to feel all of my negative feelings, I’ll be better faster.
So whatever it is you’re going through, remember that this situation is not normal. It takes some getting used to, it takes time to adjust. And you don’t have to be your most or any kind of productive during this time. You don’t have to achieve anything and you don’t have to perform well during a global pandemic.
Just stay safe, and stay healthy.
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